The good, the bad and.. that’s it

Two days ago there was  a bit of a scandal in the apartment we live in. My beloved’s sister seems to have a bit of a problem with us being happy…

Last week we went to see the circus. Had a lot of fun and took pictures.. uploaded them and she found out. ok.. Then, on saturday, we went to visit Genova, a lovely city here in Italy. We went to the aquarium, saw a pirate ship, visited a boat museum (something like that..), again, took a lot of pictures and had a lot of fun.
I wrote about it in my romanian blog and right the next day she was even angrier.. Didn’t say a word in the morning and when we asked her what was wrong she gave us an idiotic answer… anyway, we didn’t give a crap, we finished eating and went for a walk.

When we came home she started yelling at my other half… for no reason at all… she was annoyed because….. well, because we always laugh, we have fun, we go for long walks.. then.. why do i have a new pair of boots, since when does he eat broccolli (i cooked broccoli one day…), since when does he listen to rock music and stupid things like these.
So..?
It’s our life, we go wherever we feel like it, we eat whatever we want and it’s really not her business… I got so angry my hands started to shake and i ran out of the house, walked 2-3 blocks to calm down and came back.

I never understood people who are jealous on little things like these. It’s our money and if we want we can wipe our buts with them. Not her business!

Gosh i hope this never happens again..

We went out once. I realized i like him but none of us said anything.
We went out a couple of times after that, but still just as friends. We were always laughing, having fun and a great time together.

One day we were supposed to go out again. During the day we bumped into eachother in front of a supermarket. I was with another friend, we met with some other people and after 2-3 minutes my beloved appeared. He was hurrying to go to work and didn’t even say hi to me. I got upset but thought that he didn’t want the other people to start rumors. He left in a hurry to catch the buss and only told me he had something important to tell me.

My first thought was that he had to tell me something about work..

So we went out, met with other people, had a drink and then we went to his place. We talked a bit with his sister and after a while we remained alone, on his couch. We talked and talked and every 10-20 minutes i kept asking “what was it that you had to tell me that was so important?” and he kept saying he forgot… and began another subject

We talked a lot.. untill almost 5 in the morning. I realised how the time passed and thought about going the heck home but.. then he ‘rememberred’ what he wanted to tell me… … …

He looked at me, smiled and said “i kind of like you more and more. I don’t know what’s going on but i think i like you a lot”. I felt like i was melting!
I told him that i liked him to, but because he was acting like just a friend, i didn’t say anything.

So… we both found out we liked eachother. Hearts beating fast and everything… and then he started to talk about the time he was in the army… Again we began to talk about things unrelated to “us”, as if nothing happened. It was rather strange…

It was already early in the morning when we started to yawn… so we went to bed. I slept at his place, he had to go to work in 1-2 hours so i thought it was ok to go home in the morning…

When the time came for him to wake up he set off the alarms and held me tight.
When we woke up we had the strangest ‘first kiss’ We opened our eyes, still lying in bed and looked at each other smiling. He kissed me and smiled.

We felt like we knew eachother our whole lives. It was… perfect

This is the story of how i met my other half

I already had a boyfriend. My other half and I were working toghether at the factory. He liked me from the first day he saw me but didn’t say anything because, first, he knew i had another bf, and second, hethought there was still something between my ex and I (i came in italy with my ex and a very good friend of ours), so he acted like nothing was going on.

We were working toghether for several days. At forst he gave me a very very bad impression.. he was always joking, always laughing at pther people, always mocking them (the ones who did not deserve too much, a lot of ‘not so good’ people came to work at the campaign..) so i thought that that’s all he can do.. but i had a lot of fun (especially when we laught at our boss she annoyed us a lot at first..)

Little by little i kind of began to like him. He gained a lot of my respect when ho gave me his phone number (insted of asking for mine, as a lot of other people did in the factory and i got sick of saying no… ). He told me to give him a call when i’d like to go out and see the town (i only knew the road to the buss and the road back home..).

I wanted to call him but i was a bit ashamed. I searched for a pretext but.. still i didn’t call

One day we talked on the internet. He said he’ll be going out with an italian friend and asked me to come along, just to have a drink. I said yes Unfortunately he had to work extra hours the exact day and i was actually scared that at 10 o’clock he’ll be to tired to go out so i went to pick him up at work, with the pretext of going to pick up my other friend that worked on the same shift. So.. i was happy to find out he was not at all tired

We got off the buss and went to meet with the other people. They picked us up with the car. We went for a drink and then they took us home.
On the way back, we were 4 people in the backseat, so we were a bit crowded. I was staying very close to him and i felt like putting my head on his shoulder, but… again, i was embarrassed

That’s when i realised i really like him

How do you know you care about someone?

Well.. i arrived in Italy with the thought of getting back with my ex, but.. it wasn’t suppose to happen I met someone else: tall, black and handsome. I was always smiling at only the thought of him but after 2-3 weeks i realised i didn’t really care about him.. it was just the feeling that i can get over my ex. It was nice but not enough.

Meanwhile, at the same workplace, i met my actual boyfriend for who i would give anything to see him happy. I realised i cared for him when we started to work toghethe. There were times when our boss would send me someplace else and i was feeling sad because he wasn’t near me.. that’s when i realised i kind of care for him.

Right now.. i barely can stay a few hours without missimg him. When he sends me a text message i start to smile and laugh even on the street. When i wait for him in the buss station i see the buss and can’t stop smiling. I like to surprise him with little things (for example, one day he asked me who sings a certain song.. i didn’t know but i got home, searched the internet and the next day i had the title, the artist and the song itself. He was very happy and a bit stunned.. ), i like to look at him and smile, i like being in love

When you do anything you can to see someone happy.. that’s when you know you care a lot for that person. And it’s the nicest feeling in the world

when i work on morning shift i kinda have to get up at 4:30 am…

So.. i wake up, put the alarm on snooze, wake up 5 minutes later to realize.. i have to hurry the damn up!

I jump of my bed (if i don’t fall from it in the first place..), throw my uniform on and jump down the stairs while putting on my socks. I see my roommates still sleeping, my eyes become as big as 2 onions ’cause i hope i didn’t wake them up with my morning clumsiness and i run to the bathroom… i mind my own business then i realize i still have to drink my coffee!

It’s 4:48, just enough time to pour it in a cup (thank god my friend makes coffee in the evening.. hehe). I take it with me on the balcony and look at the clock every 2 minutes.. take a sip, look at the time, take another sip, take 2-3 photos, take another sip.. and so on untill i see it’s 4:56.

I take the cup and quietly place it in the sink, thinking i’ll wash it when i get home… wrong! i – again – accidentally drank from my roomates cup so i have to wash it..

I remember i have 2 sandviches in the fridge, i throw them in my blouse bigpockets and quietly leave home. Now i can finally wake up – plugging my earphones in and listening to some music on my way to the bus

oh my god.. my friend went home to Romania today and left me all alone.. he had some problems and had to go back

i’m scared to death. I don’t trust anyone, i still get lost on the streets and i only have my laptop to keep me company

He laft this morning and he was really upset because i didn’t go with him to the bus station. So after 1-2 hours i ran to find him, but unfortunately.. i got lost again and called him to ask which direction should i go.  Tough luck, his buss already left i only got to wave at him, the buss passed by me while we were on the phone. So sad..

I hope it’s gonna be ok. I still have a friend here but he lives a bit to far away from my place so i can only talk boring stuff with my neighbours..

I did make some friends at work, but i only know them for a few weeks so i already miss my roommate.

The thing is he left me a note in which he told me to be strong and don’t come home under any circumstances, because i came here with a purpose, to make some fast money and buy a chopper (my little dream ). So anytime i should feel down, i’ll read his note and hope for the best.

  hello from Italy, i’ve been busy for quite some time now and i’ve been missing in action

I came to italy 3 weeks ago, to work. I work in a factory in shifts, it’s very tireing, plus i have the other job, a night job i had previously and didn’t quit since i still need it for when i go back home in Romania.

So far so good. I haven’t slept these 3 weeks but i’m enjoying myself very much.
I like it here, i met some nice people at work, we communicate in english since i don’t speak italian so well… i am trying but it’s pretty hard for a beginner

I was pleased to be here with my ex, we get along very nice and we live toghether in a small appartment here. We share the rent and go to work toghether as we are on the same shift it’s easier this wayfor both of us, i think.

I was kind of scared at first but now i like it so much i don’t even miss home that much.. i miss my sister, my mom and dad, some of my friends and most of all…. my dog

All in all… it’s quite nice. I am in a foreign country and i’m doing well… so well i think i met someone i might like His name is Steve and we met at work. Very nice guy.

I hope to  be able to write more these days, there is a lot going on here that i feel the need to share hihi

I borrowed this expression a bit. I find a lot of truth in it.

I noticed how black thoughts go through my mind when my soul and mind are in an idle status. I am depressed and can’t think of anything else but how bad i feel and how i need to end it.
The devil doesn’t sleep, it makes me do all kind of actions I normally wouldn’t do, like lay in the bed and do nothing but graze my heart. It makes me think that my soul is so bruised it can’t be fixed. The devil doesn’t let me hope, it only makes me weep.

I can’t think by myself. I can only wait for the idleness to go away, but if i don’t help it it will only get deeper.
So i try and help it. I see now how the devil plays with my soul. It wants to destroy it, but I won’t let it. So I try and find other activities to help me unlock the chains.

I force the hope to rise above the sadness. It sure is damn hard, but otherwise I don’t see myself repairing the damage.
I start little. I start by being happy for other people’s happyness. I see smiles and i can see that it is possible. I try and integrate myself in being useful, so i could feel like i don’t live for nothing, helping others put a smile on their face is a great feeling.

I remain with my hope. I hope it will turn out ok. So the devil looses the game. He crawls outside my soul and looks back, i push it harder and hope it will get lost already.

Of course life is beautiful, even if not for me, but for others.
Of course hope can die again.
Of course I will try and bring it back to life, with my last little drop of breath.

All in all… the devil can kiss my butt.

We just had a fight. We had two too different opinions so we managed to annoy eachother. I ran home, thinking I would change my clothes and go for a drink.

Unfortunately, i didn’t have the time to do the laundry and I only had a short skirt and a very naughty t-shirt available. I put them on and slamed the door behind me.

I was going towards my car thinking I would never speak to him again. I was so angry i saw only darkness ahead. I drove faster than the wind to the closest bar, when i realised i forgot my wallet at his place..

What to do?
I had two choices.. go back home and go to bed, as it was late at night, or recuperate my wallet..
More anger stricked through me.. I desperatelly needed to drink something, so I went back to his place.

The door was unlocked. I barged in and found him lying on the bed, with only his jeans on, smoking a cigarette and listening to some wild loud music. He didn’t even glimpsed at me, he was that nervous, just like me. I couldn’t see my wallet anywhere so I yelled at him to give it to me.

He stared at me for a second, put his cigarette out and yelled at me that he didn’t see it. I yelled back and we got in to a fight again. He then stood up and came close to my body as if he wanted to dominate me and yelled again, ‘it’s not here!’. We starred into eachothers eyes, both thinking what to yell next when.. i sneezed. It was because the window was opened and it got a bit chilly. I was to nervous to walk away and let him win the fight, so i stood there feeling as my nipples became harder, he could see them through the thin t-shirt.

There was a lot of tension, we were both staring at eachother and i repeatedly bit my lower lip. I felt his warmth close to my body and then the cold went away.. He started to sweat, we both were..

Instantly, we started to kiss like wild.. He grabbed me in his arms and squeezed me as I was leaving scratch marks on his back. I then pushed him on the bed, sat on top of him and unlocked his belt. While I was gently pulling it out, I leaned over his ear and asked him “do you want this..?”. He groaned a bit then ripped my t-shirt, leaving me with only my skirt on..

He wet his fingers with his tongue and caressed my breasts. He then pushed me over and sat himself on top of me. He started to kiss my neck and feel my thies with his hands. I was so aroused I kept pulling the sheets… He went lover with the kisses, reached my chest, then my belly.. and then he grabbed my underwear with his mouth and pulled it off.

It was all happening so fast, and yet i felt like i wanted it more and more.. and more.. and faster..

I then sat on my knees facing him and kissing and licking his ear, while i was pulling down his pants, then all the rest and we remained naked on the bed, kissing like crazy and grazing eachother on our backs.

It all went downhill from there..
It was amazing, we moved fast and slow, we sweat a lot, screamed with pleasure and finished toghether..

We calmed down. I was breathing hard and felt his heart beating fast. We fell asleep in eachother arms…

I was feeling alone. I was bored with myself, bored of life, bored of monotony.. I wanted something else. I almost prayed that something would happen, something… interesting. Something that would turn my world around.

The hot weather and the thin aer didn’t help. I was feeling tense. School was over and I was stressed, I was hot because of the warm air.

It was an afternoon. There was something floating in the air.. I felt a change. My skin was wet and the last perfume drops on my body I had already smelled a few minutes earlier. I was hungry and tired and I decided to drink a hot coffee. I was walking towards the park with the coffee in my hands, thinking I would savor it quietly, when I felt a hit on my arm. Accidentaly I spilled the whole coffee on a boy’s t-shirt…
I stopped, biting my lower lip with fear. He got mad and tried to wipe it out with his sleve, but in vain. Then he suddenly looked at me with two big big black eyes. I felt a shock and imediatelly calmed down. His eyes were sparkling, like a sign he already knew me from somewhere, but we remained staring at eachother silently.

The next moment I realised he had a stain on his blouse, so I took his hand and took him inside my school, to the bathroom. I wet my hands and tried to clean the coffee stain, when he grabbed my hands and stuck them to his chest. He kept staring at me, breathing harder and harder… All of a sudden we realised we were alone in the bathroom, it was already dark, there was noone around.. My cheeks were burning, his hands were shivering and his eyes looked straight at my mouth, as I was gently biting my lips.

With his thumb he pulled my lip and placed it between his. His breath was warm and his lips were soft. Then he took my hands an put them around his neck, grabbed my thies and pulled me towards him, so close I felt every inch of his body. He wispered in my ear how much he wanted to do this, since he first saw me. I then found myself stuck to the wall, with his wet hands carressing my body.. He kissed every water drop on my skin.. I gazed at him and remained surprised with how much passion he put into this, and how he grabbed my shirt and pulled it up, leaving me half-naked, with my skin burning.

He wet his hands again and carressed my back, my tummy, he kissed my bellybutton and my thies. From time to time he kept making these pleasure sounds, coming involuntarily out of his mouth. The mixed sensation of the cold wall and the hot kisses was wonderful.

Then he stopped. He pulled me close to him and wisperred that he wants me, but not there. He took my hand we left behind only the darkness of the halls…