The good, the bad and.. that’s it

I borrowed this expression a bit. I find a lot of truth in it.

I noticed how black thoughts go through my mind when my soul and mind are in an idle status. I am depressed and can’t think of anything else but how bad i feel and how i need to end it.
The devil doesn’t sleep, it makes me do all kind of actions I normally wouldn’t do, like lay in the bed and do nothing but graze my heart. It makes me think that my soul is so bruised it can’t be fixed. The devil doesn’t let me hope, it only makes me weep.

I can’t think by myself. I can only wait for the idleness to go away, but if i don’t help it it will only get deeper.
So i try and help it. I see now how the devil plays with my soul. It wants to destroy it, but I won’t let it. So I try and find other activities to help me unlock the chains.

I force the hope to rise above the sadness. It sure is damn hard, but otherwise I don’t see myself repairing the damage.
I start little. I start by being happy for other people’s happyness. I see smiles and i can see that it is possible. I try and integrate myself in being useful, so i could feel like i don’t live for nothing, helping others put a smile on their face is a great feeling.

I remain with my hope. I hope it will turn out ok. So the devil looses the game. He crawls outside my soul and looks back, i push it harder and hope it will get lost already.

Of course life is beautiful, even if not for me, but for others.
Of course hope can die again.
Of course I will try and bring it back to life, with my last little drop of breath.

All in all… the devil can kiss my butt.